Did You Miss Me?

Remember when I used to get mad? Well since I've calmed down and returned to the land of the sane, I've been thinking about that. And since I took two psych classes back in high school, I feel I'm fairly qualified to diagnose myself; I suspect I may have a little, teensy problem: I don't get sad, I get angry.

Here are some examples.

Cause: I'm making soup for dinner and I burn it and it's the last batch of ingredients I have.
Result: I get very mad. Also hungry. But mostly mad. I turn off all the lights and go into my room and vow never to eat again, just to spite food. But then I realize it would be way more of a punishment if I ate everything instead, and then I go to Ralphs and buy those cupcakes that are super on sale because they're about to expire in five minutes. Take that, food.

Cause: I find out I can't go to something fun because of a (less fun) prior commitment.
Result: I get really mad and think about how terrible commitments are and swear never to make another one and then for good measure I kick some defenseless animals to seal the deal. The last part may be a slight exaggeration but the first part is true and also explains my inability to commit. It's not you, it's my anger.

Cause: Some boy breaks my heart.
Result: I'm furious and I want to knee him in the face except that I probably still like him (because otherwise how is he going to break any internal organs of mine?) so instead I think about how satisfying it would be if I mastered his absolute favorite video game and then beat him at it and then while he's crying I secretly steal all his forks and donate them to the forkless and then when the next time he sees me he asks, "Hey, do you have any idea where all my forks went?" I reply, "Hey, just be grateful they're not all IN YOUR FACE," and leave him mystified and rueful that he ever let me get away. See, it's subtle but appropriate.

So I don't know. But now my midterms are over and the mad dash to finish three simultaneous papers on three very different topics has not yet begun, and my mom just sent me a surprise care package today, and a rather handsome knight defended my honor (and that of approximately a hundred other people sitting in his section) (yellow), and there are birthdays and holidays and even Disneyland on the horizon, and as a result I'm feeling almost... mellow.

I know, it's freaking me out too. But just thought I'd let you guys know that I didn't explode in a fit of temper and take out half of Los Angeles; I've just been too busy taking midterms, buying flasks and eating chicken with my bare hands to post. Rest assured though, I'm still working on PLWBIFEMCMEFW and soon you guys will be able to peruse through a post filled with dozens of blurry iPhone pictures showing food, dorks, anachronism and dyslexia. Don't say I didn't warn you.