We're Really Doing It to Save Lives

What I Told Brian About Donating Platelets

"It's definitely not any more painful than donating blood. They even give you your blood back, so you won't even think you're missing anything."

"You get three free movie tickets! Three! And if we both donate we get six! We can go watch THREE movies together!"

"You just sit in this media center and watch movies or go online while you're donating. It's just like being in your living room. It's really fun. They have great movies."

"You get free cookies and juice at the end."

"And stickers."

What the Blood Center People Told Me

"I'm sorry, we're going to have to defer you. Your platelet count is too low."

What the Blood Center People Told Brian

"Come on in."

What I Told Brian at the Blood Center

"Well then can I take your keys? I'm going home to take a shower and maybe do my nails."

What Brian Told Me After Donating Platelets

"You didn't tell me that when they give you your blood back, it's COLD. And it hurts. I wish they had just kept the blood too."

"I got three movie tickets and you didn't get any. We can only go see one and a half movies."

"Media center??? What did you mean by media center?? Because all I got was a chair and a tv monitor. You made it sound futuristic, like a pod. And I watched 'Get Him to the Greek'. I only laughed once. I think it was at P. Diddy but I don't remember."

"I ate two cookies and drank three juices but I'm still thirsty."

"I got you a sticker that says 'Be Nice to Me, I Tried to Donate Blood Today'."

Things Brian's Doctor Told Him a Week Later When His 3 Day Fever Wouldn't Go Away

"Well, you don't have strep throat... but for some reason your platelet count is low."

Two Valentine's Day Plays

Play 1: For the Love of a Car

Scene 1

Carolyn (Monologue): Through a series of unfortunate events this past weekend, none of which were any fault of my own, I managed to pull the front bumper halfway off Brian's car. After twenty minutes of whimpering and frantic pushing, I managed to get it almost back in place. I finally told Brian what happened (his first question upon seeing his car, "So, how long did you stand here before coming to get me?") but try as we might, the bumper refused to budge the last inch and mold back into the car's original shape.

Scene 2

Carolyn, on phone to Crown Coachworks Bodyshop (Yelp's highest rated bodyshop in West Los Angeles): Hello, I was driving my friend's car this weekend and accidentally pulled the bumper partway off.

CCB Rep: Alright, bring it in.

Carolyn: Any idea how much it'll be to fix..?

CCB Rep: We really would have to take a look.

Scene 3

Text messages.

Brian: It's going to be $780. And it'll take 3 days.

Carolyn: WHAT??? WHY???????? I hope you want fish sticks for dinner because we are never going to a restaurant again.

Brian: Maybe you should text Carlos.

Scene 4

Carolyn (Monologue): Carlos is my extremely tall and attractive mechanic. He once fixed three separate problems in my car in a single week. And for the last issue, he only charged me for the part because he felt so guilty about not catching it at the beginning. I love Carlos.

Text messages.

Carolyn: CARLOS do you fix bumpers?????

Carlos: Sure, bring it in.

Scene 5

Phone call.

Brian: My car will be ready at 7.

Carolyn: Carlos had time today?? How much is it going to cost?

Brian: Sixty dollars.

Carolyn: I love Carlos.

Brian: Me too.

Play 2: You Make My Heart Fly

Scene 1

Sunday, February 13th. Morning. Text message.

Isabel: Dad, don't forget tomorrow is Valentine's day!

Dad: Got it!

Scene 2

Sunday, February 13th. Early afternoon.

Dad: Your daughters keep calling me to remind me that it's Valentine's day.

Mom: Oh, really?

Dad: Yeah. So... do you want... flowers...?

Mom: .....no, it's okay.

Scene 3

Sunday, February 13th. Later afternoon. At the Dollar Store.

Mom, putting items on conveyer belt: This should be it. Do we need detergent?

She turns around to see Dad standing there with two heart shaped helium balloons.

Mom: What are you doing?

Dad: Should I get these for you?

Mom: ....no, it's okay.

Scene 4

Phone conversation.

Isabel: And that's how mom and dad spent Valentine's day.