When You Gave Birth to Your Baby Did You Know You Were Also Signing Away Your Sanity?

So uh, what's up with parents? Recently my sister ("Iz" -- what I used to call her when we were little and I had to yell her name so much I shortened it to just one syllable) had her boyfriend ("Poops" -- seriously, that's her affectionate nickname for him. I couldn't make this stuff up; the first time I heard it in public I just wanted to flee to where no one knew we were even remotely related) visit our family home and meet the parents for the first time.

Now, this is a significant moment in our family history because neither of us had ever introduced a boyfriend to our parents before. This isn't to say we haven't had any that they knew about (although we had many more they didn't know about), it was just the first time one of us voluntarily brought a boy home in this context.

Quick side trip down memory lane: when through a lot of high school drama my parents discovered the existence and identity of my then-boyfriend, they more or less tactfully suggested to me that he might be on drugs because they thought his eyes seemed constantly glazed over. Of course, they were right, but I couldn't tell them that. So, in a nutshell, that is the story of how I had to spend the latter half of of my high school career airing my clothes out so they wouldn't smell like weed.

Anyway, when Iz brought Poops home I expected my parents to be overjoyed that they were at last meeting at least one of their daughters' boyfriends. Not only that, but he was nice, went to a good school, and treated my sister as well as a college boy can treat his girlfriend. So imagine my surprise when I get a tearful text from my sister mere days before Poops' trip, telling me how our mom was not only unenthusiastic about the impending visit but was in fact beginning to complain that he would be staying in one of our bedrooms.

When I confronted my mom about this, she told me she had absolutely no curiosity regarding Poops, and that it was "too soon" for Iz to be serious enough about a guy to bring him home. When I told her she should be glad Iz was willing to share this part of her life with her family (as opposed to sneaking around town with druggies -- this part I didn't say out loud though, besides, that's all in the past, and I'm totally mature now, and drinking until I black out is totally different from thinking "quality time" with my boyfriend is lighting his bong for him when he smokes out), she tried turning the tables and asked when I was going to be introducing a boyfriend to the family. I hung up before the words "on my wedding day" could escape, and texted Iz to wish her luck.

Throughout the week of her boyfriend's visit I got occasional angry rant-texts from my sister, like this one:

Mom is ridiculous!!! I'm in my room showing [poops] my yearbooks and the door is wide open, mom walks by and asks why we are in a stuffy little room and not outside and I say cuz my yearbooks are too heavy to carry all the way into the living room so there's no point, a few min later she literally yells at me to come out and I'm like... okay... and after two seconds she yells again and is furious soooo annoying I don't understand her... are we really gonna be doing stuff while she's there...with the door wide open uhhh I'm 20 I think I can be in a room alone with a guy with my own judgement

or this one:
So [poops] threw away a bag of fruit his mom gave him cuz he said it rotted and mom fished it out of the trash can and told me [he] wastes food minus one point... kinda jokingly... psh! haha mom wishes you were home to babysit us

For the record I just want to say my mom is not usually insane, which is what makes her behavior all the more irrational.

Anyway the reason I even thought of all this was because I was talking to my friend Stuffin today, and the subject came up about his girlfriend's super protective parents and grandma, and this was our conversation:

Stuffin: she told her mom that I got her the [Tiffany's] bracelet
Stuffin: she didn't seem to care
Stuffin: hopefully they're warming up to me
Stuffin: I think her grandma did
Stuffin: but then she found out I don't speak Canto
Stuffin: now I think she hates me again
Me: HAHA

So really, what is it with parents? This is just one reason I never want to be one: I like my sanity intact, please. Also I don't think I could be off alcohol for nine months. But mostly the sanity thing.